THE RECOVERING INSECURE
Embracing Secure Attachment for Lasting Connection
Unlock your full potential with a comprehensive range of attachment courses, interactive workbooks, and personalized 1:1 coaching.
Embrace transformation, deepen your relationships, and achieve emotional growth.
Welcome to The Recovering Insecure!
I'm Dr. Danielle Zandbergen
I'm here to help you cultivate and strengthen your relationship to yourself and others.
You are the most important investment in your life.
Take the leap and work with me to strengthen your attachment security and
find boundless love that lasts a lifetime.
I have made it my life journey to develop a deep understanding of attachment theory and the ways attachment plays a role in each and every one of our relationships. I graduated with a Master's in Mental Health Counseling and a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies and have engaged in rigorous academic research throughout the years to better understand the ways attachment plays a role in each of our lives. I have made it my life mission to develop evidence-based, high-quality methods to support you in your relationship to yourself and with others.
YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON
If you have found yourself here, there is a good chance that you have already begun to recognize the important ways in which past experiences and personal growth can shape the way you interact with yourself and the relationships you engage in. I am committed to helping you navigate these complexities with confidence and ease, so that you can build stronger, healthier relationships both within and outside of yourself. You might have noticed the following in yourself or your relationships:
- There are distinct patterns in who you date and how you approach relationships.
- You deeply desire a sense of connection and love, but fear that these patterns you engage in will impact your ability to foster lasting love in your life, and may even fear that others will abandon, betray or control you.
- You may have experienced these patterns repeating in each of your relationships, resulting in shame, guilt, or regret.
- You have been in therapy but feel like you might have a "missing piece" in your treatment as it relates to putting some of what you learned into action.
WHAT ARE ATTACHMENT STYLES?
Attachment styles refer to the emotional bonds and patterns of relating that individuals develop in their early relationships, particularly with their primary caregivers. These attachment styles play a crucial role in shaping how people form and maintain relationships throughout their lives. There are four primary attachment styles:
Secure Attachment
People with a secure attachment style tend to have a positive view of themselves and others. They are comfortable with emotional intimacy, can trust their partners, and are generally able to express their feelings and needs openly. They seek out and enjoy close relationships and can navigate conflicts and separations effectively.
Anxious (Preoccupied) Attachment
Individuals with an anxious attachment style often worry about their worthiness and whether their partners truly care for them. They may become overly dependent on their partners for validation and reassurance and may experience high levels of anxiety in their relationships. They tend to be sensitive to signs of rejection and may fear abandonment.
Avoidant (Dismissive) Attachment
Individuals with an avoidant or dismissive attachment style tend to be highly self-reliant and value their independence. They may downplay the importance of emotional intimacy and may have difficulty opening up to others or expressing their feelings. They may seem emotionally distant and prioritize self-sufficiency over close relationships.
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment
Individuals with a fearful-avoidant or disorganized attachment style is characterized by a combination of anxious and avoidant tendencies. Individuals with this style often have a fear of intimacy due to past experiences of inconsistent caregiving or trauma. They may crave emotional closeness but struggle with trust and may vacillate between seeking and avoiding intimacy.
Attachment theory provides us evidence-based insights as to why we might choose certain partners, the way we think, feel or act in relationships, why we might repeat specific relationship dynamics or patterns, and provides us a framework toward becoming more secure in our lives.
WHAT TO EXPECT
WHEN YOU COMMIT TO INVESTING IN YOURSELF & YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
BENEFIT #1: Deeper Understanding
Applying attachment theory to your internal work means delving into the complex dynamics of human connections, helping you gain a deeper understanding of your own attachment style and emotional responses. By investing in the provided resources, you can uncover why you react to certain situations in specific ways, and this self-awareness can be transformative. It allows you to identify and address any emotional baggage or insecurities that might be affecting your relationships. This newfound insight can also improve your emotional intelligence, enabling you to communicate more effectively, empathize with others, and manage conflicts with greater skill. Ultimately, this leads to healthier, more fulfilling connections with friends, family, and romantic partners.
BENEFIT #2: Practical Tools & Strategies
Learning about attachment theory and its applications in these resources can offer practical tools and strategies to improve the quality of your relationships. It can teach you how to create secure and supportive connections, fostering trust and intimacy in your interactions. By investing in your understanding of attachment, you can build stronger, more resilient relationships that withstand the challenges life throws your way. Whether you're looking to revitalize a long-term partnership, forge new friendships, or find lasting love, the insights gained from a these resources can help you build the foundation for healthy and fulfilling connections.
BENEFIT #3: Overall Health & Well-Being
Your emotional well-being is closely tied to the quality of your relationships. When you invest in yourself through these resources, you're not just learning about relationships; you're investing in your mental and emotional health. Understanding attachment styles and how they impact your life can help you break free from negative patterns, reduce anxiety, and boost your self-esteem. It empowers you to make conscious choices that are in alignment with your values and goals, leading to a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment. Your emotional well-being is closely tied to the quality of your relationships. Investing in your attachment-related knowledge can positively influence your overall well-being, fostering a more joyful and contented life.
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The Path Toward Attachment Security Workbook
The Recovering Insecure
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